Mental Synchrony Blog #1

What is Mental Synchrony (MS)?

An alignment of thinking and behavior that develops spontaneously between individuals, while they relate to each other.

What is a MS score?

A frequency estimate of how often MS occurs in a relationship. A score of 100 means that MS is
constantly present, while 0% indicates that it is absent.

What are MS levels?

A particular range of MS scores along a spectrum from 0 to 100.

Since Sam interviewed me, I have received feedback from people who watched the video, but
were reluctant to take the survey, or started it, but did not finish. Here are some of their reasons.

Feedback from couples with established relationships:
“Why should I take the survey, when the relationship with my partner is satisfactory?”
“I don’t want to find out that anything is wrong with our relationship!”
“This survey is a waste of time?”

As I have indicated in the video interview, immediately after a couple completes and submits the survey, their MS score and the scoring of its components appear on screen. Most scores fall within the intermediate range. Above or below this range is a minority of scores that are higher or lower. MS develops spontaneously between partners, unrelated to attributes that draw them together, such as physical attraction, similar backgrounds, friends, interests and values shared in common.

Couple receiving low MS scores are usually not surprised. They already know that something is
wrong with their relationship. If this is true, then why should they bother to take the survey?

First, the survey suggests that a low level of MS may be a significant contributor to their
difficulties, for which no one is at fault. They cannot blame each other for the problem.

Second: Even when a MS score is low, scoring of its components may reveal some positives, not
just negatives, which they can build upon to improve their relationship

Even couples with intermediate or high MS scores may find that some of the components in their score are lower than others, which suggests areas for improvement, if desired.

No matter how a couple scores, taking the survey is not a waste of time.

Feedback from individuals who are dating or currently in a short-term relationship:
“Aren’t online dating apps or matchmaking services, currently available, sufficient to match me with a compatible partner? How is this survey different from a dating app?”
“Why waste time filling out questionnaires with somebody that I am just getting to know?”
“Do I really need to find out the level of MS between me and my date who already has all of the attributes that I could ever wish for?”

Dating apps and matchmaking services do a great job of matching couples by their compatibility
before they meet. What they don’t do, however, is assess the quality of a relationship by its mental synchrony, while potential partners relate to each other in real time. A couple can look quite compatible on paper, but this in no way predicts how well they will actually be able to relate to each other.

Sometimes, desirable attributes that draw them together may “blind” the couple into believing that they are a perfect match, only to realize later that their relationship has evolved into a “living hell.” Taking the survey might avoid such a pitfall. Or the survey may suggest that a new relationship shows promise and is worth pursuing.

Applications of MS may someday extend beyond matchmaking. Individuals identified with higher levels of MS are likely to become “fast friends,” not just lovers. In industry, coworkers could be selected to form groups with high levels of MS that increase efficiency and productivity. Imagine basketball players being recruited, not just for their athletic talents, but also for the purpose of putting together a team that has the highest possible level of MS, Such a team will win more games.

Possible applications for calculating MS are endless.

Join me in my project. Please take the survey. If you have any comment or questions, feel free to contact me at:

Peter M. Crain, MD